You're never far, I will be where you are...

**My Birthday Weekend: 9/13/12 - 9/15/12**

Call off the search party, I'm alive!  First, I would like to apologize for not writing in MONTHS!  This year has been full of work, big life changing decisions, and lots of travel.  I know I still have to finish my 2011 cruise review and do my reviews on the UK baseball regionals, UK basketball championships, my cruise reunion in Washington D.C., and a trip I took to New York to see some former UK baseball players play. However, with my first post back, I just couldn't go without writing about my birthday weekend last month.  It was a weekend full of my favorite things and favorite people, a weekend that will forever stay with me in my dreams. 

September 15th was my birthday.  I had been super excited when it was announced that there would be a University of Kentucky Alumni Charity basketball game on September 15th, which would bring back former Wildcats who are currently playing in the NBA.  Well, any University of Kentucky athletic event is to my sports world as the Backstreet Boys are to my music world.  To make things even better, there was also a UK football game that day AND my husband was actually willing to go with me for once.  I was totally ready for a day full of Wildcats!

And then something happened that completely changed my course of action...Leighanne announced that there would be a Wylee Party on Saturday, September 15th in Roswell, Georgia.  Now I was completely torn.  Lexington, Kentucky was only 6.5 hours from me and would entail an entire day of festivities.  Roswell, Georgia would be at least a 12 hour drive and the Wylee Party would only be five hours.  To some this would seem like an easy choice, but I was presented with two options and I had to make a choice.  No matter which I chose, I knew I would have a great time.  I discussed my options with my husband and my friends and took suggestions.  I guess my husband really knows me best when he told me, "Go spend your birthday with Brian."  He was right.  There would always be another UK game but spending my birthday with Brian would be something that I had only dreamed of ever happening.  Little did I know that even afterwards, it would seem like a dream.  So I made my decision.  I was going to drive down to Roswell, Georgia for my birthday. 

Then some news was announced that I thought would once again change my plans.  Just a few days before I was supposed to take my trip, it was announced that the Backstreet Boys would be performing in New York at an event for Old Navy on Friday, September 14th.....yes, the day before Brian was scheduled to be in Georgia for the Wylee Party.  Since the Old Navy Event seemed to be so last minute, I was worried that Brian would not be able to be at the Wylee Party.  Don't get me wrong, I love Leighanne and I've bought my fair share of Wylee products.  However, I would really have to think about making that long of a drive without Brian being there.  Luckily, there were still tickets left for the UK Basketball Alumni game if need be.  There had been no word one way or the other as far as whether or not Brian would be at the Wylee event.  So I decided to send out a little tweet to Brian, Leighanne, and Wylee to see if I could get some kind of confirmation one way or the other.  Anyone who has tweeted Brian or Leighanne know that it can be a bit difficult to get a response back.  Apparently, my birthday was going to start two days early because I received my second ever tweet from Brian Littrell...



Let's just pretend that it is my birthday that he wouldn't miss for the world...



Alright, so I was going to be heading down to Georgia after all.  My plan was to drive to Louisville on Thursday night and stay with a friend so that I'd only have an 8+ hour trip, rather than 12+ hours.  However, a baseball team that I had been following all summer had made it to the playoffs and were playing the championship game on Thursday.  I had started listening to and following the Hudson Valley Renegades (Class A Short Season Affiliate of the Tampa Bay Rays in the New York-Penn League) as soon as I had discovered that one of my favorite UK Baseball players, Michael Williams had been placed on the team after he had been drafted to the Tampa Bay Rays.  It was also very convenient that another UK Baseball player, Luke Maile, had also been placed on the team.  I had actually taken a trip to New York just two weeks prior to see the two play, but that will hopefully be another blog entry at another time.  Anyway, the Renegades had tied a best of three series up with the Tri-City ValleyCats and were going to be playing the Championship deciding game on that Thursday.  If I drove down to Louisville that night, I was going to miss it.  I made the decision to stay at home and listen to the game (yes, listen since it is only minor league baseball and not on TV).  The Renegades ended up winning the New York-Penn League Championship that night!  Two of my Bat Cats (UK Baseball players) were Champions and this would be considered early birthday present number two!

2012 New York-Penn League Champions - Hudson Valley Renegades



And I bet your wondering where this talk of UK Baseball all of a sudden came from?  Don't worry there will eventually be a blog post about that too!

So, Friday rolls around and I am on very little sleep.  I never get any sleep the night before I leave for a trip because I'm up late getting everything packed and prepared.  It's the one aspect in my life that I never finish early and I have no idea why.  In order to pack for Georgia, I still needed to unpack from New York two weeks prior since the vacation fairy had failed her job miserably and hadn't done it for me.  Even though I was on little sleep, I knew the adrenaline of the trip would keep me awake.  The fastest way to get to Georgia from the Chicago area is to head straight down to Nashville and then over to Atlanta.  However, I was heading south.  Lexington is south.  I love Lexington.  Do you see where I'm going with this?  By cutting over to Lexington and then heading south, I was only going to add thirty minutes to the drive.  The feelings of pure joy I get when I am in Lexington was going to make that extra time well worth it.  I had been getting some suggestions of places to eat in Lexington that I wanted to try.  Additionally, I thought it was very convenient that Lexington is pretty much the exact half way point between here and Roswell (6.5 hours for each leg). 

Michigan City, IN -> Lexington, IN -> Roswell, GA - Approx. 733 miles

As I crossed the bridge over the Ohio River and into Kentucky, I immediately felt a sense of peace.  It's the feeling I always get when I travel to or through the state.  I just feel so at home there and there is a calmness that passes over me as I see that "Welcome To Kentucky:  Unbridled Spirit" sign.  I said so long to Indiana and hello to the place that I most want to live.  I said goodbye to the miles and miles and miles of this....

This is the only cool part of Indiana, our wind turbines amongst the corn fields.

And said hello to this...

The hills of Kentucky between Louisville and Lexington

If only it had been slightly later in the fall so that the leaves would have begun to change....then the drive is even more beautiful and breathtaking.

I finally got to Lexington at about 4:30 or so.  It was an odd time since it was too late for lunch and too early for dinner really.  However, I had planned it so that I would be hungry at that time.  I stopped at a recommended hamburger joint just off of campus called Tolly-Ho's.  I ordered my burger and was just getting ready to leave when early birthday present number three walked in the door (although it took me awhile to figure this out).

I saw a young guy walk in wearing a Milwaukee Basketball shirt.  I thought it was funny since one of the UK Basketball players, Doron Lamb, from the 2012 Championship team had been drafted to the Bucks.  Then I noticed that he kind of looked like Lamb.  He walked away to the bathroom (I'm assuming) while the two people he was with ordered and sat at the table caddy corner from me.  It was then that I realized that one of the other guys looked like Marquis Teague, who was also on the 2012 Championship team and had been drafted to the Chicago Bulls (and was from Indiana).  I started to get pretty excited but wanted to make 100% sure it was them before I went up and made a fool of myself.  I always have a problem recognizing athletes when they aren't in their jerseys...you're just used to seeing them that way.  Luckily, Tolly-Ho's calls out your name when your order is done.  Then there it was.... "Marquis"....."Lamb."  I started to do some major fangirling.  These were like the Backstreet Boys of my sports world.  Not only did I have two University of Kentucky basketball players sitting next to me, but two UK players that played for the 2012 NCAA Championship Team.....AND were now professional basketball players.  They were in town for the UK Basketball Alumni Charity Game (remember that was supposed to be happening the next day).  It took me a few minutes to work up the nerve to go ask them for a photo.  When I did, they had already started eating.  Remember, I had already finished eating when they had walked in or else I would have waited to bother them until they were done.  The friend they were with (I later found out his name was Dion) asked if I could wait until they were done eating and I willingly obliged.  Thank goodness the restaurant had wi-fi so I could fangirl on Twitter and Facebook for the thirty minutes I had to wait while they sat there in silence, not saying a word to one another, and on their phones.  Finally, they started to get up and Marquis gave me a little nod to let me know they were ready.  I told them what a big fan I was and how I had been there in New Orleans to watch them win the championship (again, another blog entry eventually).  I don't think they said a single word to me.  I got between them and they of course towered over me.  I'm glad I got my photo but their social skills need some working on.  Maybe its because I'm spoiled by the four Bat Cats that I've met, chatted with, and had photos with (three of whom are now pro in the minor leagues).  The photo could have been better in so many more ways but I will gladly accept it since it was a totally unexpected part of my trip.  Just think, if the Renegades would not have been in the Championship game, I would not have been at Tolly-Ho's at that exact moment to get that experience.  Everything does happen for a reason.

Doron Lamb, Me, and Marquis Teague - Former University of Kentucky Wildcats (basketball)

I was walking out of the building at the same time, thanked them, and wished them a good weekend.  What happened next was just weird.  As I got into my car, which they had parked right next to, Dion (the friend) asked if I was from there and if I wanted to hang out with them.  I explained that I was just driving through and was headed to Georgia (but really I was thinking that there was no way I was going to put myself in a sticky situation)!

I was sad to leave Lexington, even though I knew I was headed to see Brian that next day.  I'm just always so happy when I am there.  Because of my stop in Lexington and other pit stops along the way, my total trip to Roswell took about fifteen hours, although I did have a little motivation along the way from one of Leighanne's good friends, Jodi...

Thanks to my friend Jessica, Leighanne had been informed that I was coming a bit of a distance and I got my first tweet from Leighanne, thanking me.

It feels really good to be appreciated for my dedication

I was still too pumped from everything that had happened to me thus far to really get any sleep.  It was officially my birthday by this point and I was going to get to spend the day with Brian and Leighanne Littrell.  I knew the next day would go by incredibly slow as I waited for 2pm to roll around.  Luckily, I had an old high school friend that lived in Roswell to go to lunch with and get my mind off of the waiting.

I showed up to the Teal Gallery about 15 minutes early and there was only one person waiting outside at the time.  It made me wonder how many people were actually going to be at this Wylee party.  I looked in the window and Leighanne happened to be standing right there setting things up.  We waved at one another and I took a seat outside to wait for the party to start.  More girls started to show up as it got closer and closer to 2 o'clock.  At one point Brian came out to make a quick trip to the Wylee trailor that was parked outside.  He apologized that it would only be a few more moments...imagine that, the event was not going to start on time.  Don't we all know and love Backstreet time?  Brian then poked his head outside again to take a photo of the group that was so patiently waiting to get inside and tweeted the photo.

That's me in the "Birthday Girl" sash

He tweeted the photo at 2:09 and I would say that we still waited another 10 minutes or so before they finally let us into the building.  I would say that there were probably 20-25 people in line to get in as Brian took some video.

Video courtesy of SimplyLeighanne

I knew exactly what I wanted but I decided to look around anyway.  As I looked around Jodi and pretty much all of Leighanne's family wished me a happy birthday and thanked me for making the long trip.  I knew that she would have some new stuff that wasn't on her website yet.  There was and I, of course, wanted it.  However, I'm not made of money and knew that there was one item that I wanted more than anything else there...the Brian Cross Necklace.  

Brian's Cross Necklace - Wylee by Leighanne Littrell

I didn't see any as I looked around and had to ask Leighanne if she happened to have any with her.  She gladly helped me as I became the first customer of the day.  As she was checking over the necklace to make sure that it had not been damaged at all, Baylee and Prue (Jodi's daughter), came up to Leighanne to let her know that they were leaving (they were going somewhere with a family member, I'm pretty sure it was Leighanne's step dad).  Leighanne asked if Baylee had visited any of the customers and told him that it was my birthday.  Both Baylee and Prue told me happy birthday.  Baylee then told Leighanne that I should get the special birthday discount.  The boy is just too adorable and so much like his father.  I would say that I was done with my purchases by 2:45 but there was no way I was going to leave that party until it was over.  Brian, Leighanne, Jodi, and all of Leighanne's family (mother and sisters) were busy selling away as the crowd grew bigger.  I would say at one time there were maybe 50-60 people there at one time, since people were constantly coming and going.

At about 3:00, Brian said that he would be taking photos in 20 minutes.  I found some very nice fellow Backstreet fans to talk to as we waited.  An hour later, Brian finally started the picture taking.  He was running on Backstreet time once again but I really didn't care.  I was having a good time with everyone as I waited.  I got into line and started chatting with some new girls around me.  At one point, Leighanne was standing next to me so I got my photo with her...

Leighanne Littrell....looking gorgeous as always

It was at about this point that Brian announced that he would really appreciate it if everyone only got one photo so that those people that were in the back of the line would get a chance to get their photos.  Apparently, a lot of girls were asking for a serious photo and a funny photo.  When he had started the line, I was pretty much the end of it.  By the time that I got closer, there were 15-20 people still behind me.  As I had waited in line, I new exactly what I wanted my pose to be.  The girls in front of me said that they would be happy to take my photo for me.  When I finally got up to Brian, I asked him, "Since it's my birthday, do you think that I could get a kiss on the cheek for my photo?"  That was when he leaned in very close and whispered into my ear, "Now if I do that for you all of these girls are going to want that," and it just so happened that the girl with my camera just happened to get a photo of it.

 He asked me if huggie pose was okay instead.  Ummmm, what girl would ever refuse being in Brian's arms for a photo???  Not me....Happy Birthday to me!

Before the party, I had been trying to decide if I was going to wear something Wylee to the party or if I was going to wear my University of Kentucky football jersey because Kentucky was going to be playing later that day (and because I wanted to see if he would remember me as "Kentucky Girl" like he called me on the cruise).  I eventually had decided to compromise and go with my Wylee No EGO's (Edging God Out) shirt but was wearing my University of Kentucky shoes and earrings.  I had brought my jersey with me in case I decided last minute to change my mind.  After my photo, I decided that it was time to show my team spirit and threw my jersey on over my shirt.  I was now in football mode.  In between  a set of photos Brian had looked across the room at me and just kind of laughed as he shouted, "You changed!"  I had to shout back "Of course, Go Cats!"  I'm not going to lie, I had a huge smile on my face because 1) Brian had noticed me specifically in a room full of people and 2) He had remembered what I had on to realize that I wasn't wearing the same thing.  Leighanne also got a big kick out of it.  She asked me if I was trying to make it look like I was at two separate Wylee parties in my pictures.  

It seemed as though once people got their photos, they left.  I had kind of been hoping for that so that the crowd would get a little smaller and Brian wouldn't be so busy trying to get around to everyone.  I do hope everyone that was there bought something though.  If it is one thing I can't stand, it is those fans that go to Wylee parties for the sole purpose of seeing Brian.  I have been to five Wylee parties and have bought something at every single one because I love her stuff.  The girls I had been talking to stuck around for a little while longer before they decided that they had to get going.  Once they left, I just kind of wandered around.  

Brian eventually finished his photos and started interacting with those left a little more, rather than going back to selling things.  I did have a few conversations with him.  We talked about how I had run into Marquis Teague and Doron Lamb on my way down and got to show him my University of Kentucky shoes.  He seemed to like those.  I had also started a conversation about the UK Baseball team and then he called them the "Bat Cats."  It made me smile because only UK fans really know them as that...at least those of us that are more than just fans of their basketball team.  Then we started talking about Corey Littrell....a junior left handed pitcher that pitches for the University of Kentucky.  Brian actually wasn't familiar with Corey and I had to show him the photo I had of him on my phone.  Apparently, Brian did not know of this Littrell (who also happens to be from Kentucky, only Louisville).  It seemed to intrigue him.

Corey Littell - Junior - LHP - University of Kentucky

  

It was also quite funny because as I was looking for the photo, Brian happened to notice my background on my phone, which just happens to be a photo of my favorite poster...

When he saw it, he started cracking up laughing and asked "who is that young good looking guy?" as he struck the same pose as he was in the photo.  The whole situation just made me laugh.

Earlier I had overheard him talking about how he had actually flown back into Georgia that morning from New York where he had been with the rest of the guys for the Old Navy event.  I asked him about it and he had told me how Kevin, Howie, and he had gone out after the event and time had slipped away from them.  Before they knew it, it was 3am.  Brian had to be at the airport at 6am so he only got a few hours of sleep.  Once he got back into Atlanta, he got home, showered, and then basically started to get ready for the Wylee party.  Sometimes I just don't know where he gets his energy!  I had noticed that during this conversation that more girls had come in and were just kind of standing there.  I told him that since there were some people waiting to get photos with him, I was going to let him talk to them and that I would talk to him later.  I wanted to make sure that everyone got a fair shot to talk to him and get their photos with him.  I knew that as long as I kept talking, Brian would probably keep listening and I didn't want to hog him.  I know I dislike it when other people do that.  I moved on and chatted more with Leighanne's family, who couldn't believe I was still there.  I told them that I had traveled 15 hours, I wasn't going anywhere!    

I was eventually able to catch Brian again and since I had changed shirts and there wasn't a line of fans to talk to him, I decided to ask him for another photo.  And in case you were wondering....he did not call me "Kentucky Girl" at all this day.

With about an hour left, there were probably only about 10 fans or so still there.  I realized that if I was ever going to tell him the story about how he brought me closer to God, it was probably a good time to do it.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with this story, I encourage you to read about it in my You did reach out your hand post.  When I had decided that it was finally the appropriate time to tell him, he was having a conversation with what appeared to be a nice couple.  

At about 6:30 I saw my chance when he had finished talking with them.  I went up to him and told him that I just needed to thank him.  He told me you're welcome and we both laughed since I hadn't told him what I needed to thank him for.  I told him that I needed to thank him for helping me make what I thought was the most important decision in my life, the decision to become a Christian.  It was then that I went into the story about how God had found a way into my heart during his Christmas tour with Rebecca St. James at the Naperville show (he told me that he loved that tour by the way).  I told him the whole story with tears in my eyes and rolling down my cheek....something I knew would happen if I ever got to tell him my story because of what it meant to me.  He thanked me for telling him that story and that he enjoys hearing stories like that...than he wrapped me into one of his hugs and just held me for a few seconds.  

I went on to explain how its been very hard for me for about the last two years since I moved back to Northwest Indiana because I don't have the same support with my faith up here like I did when I lived in Southern Indiana.  I told him how I hated being back north even though all of my family (and my husband's family) is there.  Then Brian told me something that I think I always knew but could never really put my finger on....he simply said, "Because you've changed."  He was absolutely right.  He then told me how it was okay because change can be good and that I should just keep changing, there was nothing wrong with it.  He explained that now that he was out of Lexington, he was probably never going to live there again even though he loved it growing up...because he had changed.

I couldn't believe it, I was having a heart to heart life lessons conversation with Brian Littrell.  And it was only going to get better...

I went on to tell him how I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder in 2006 and how when I get into my depressive states after my high anxiety states, it is knowing that God is there and his album that usually helps pull me out of them, especially my favorite verse of "Angels and Heroes."  He asked me if it gets especially bad for me during the winter.  It totally does, especially now that I am back north and the winter suck with the lake effect snow that we get from Lake Michigan.  I just couldn't believe how much he just genuinely cared about everything I had to say.  

There were two more amazing parts of conversations that occurred while in this conversation.  However, I am sorry to say that I just don't feel like I can share them.  They were stories that Brian shared with me about his life so I believe that they are his stories to share when he wants to and with whom he wants.  I will say that the fact that he shared them with me makes me feel very special because he felt comfortable enough with me to share them and he was sharing aspects of his personal life with me.  A Backstreet Boy was sharing a part of his life with a fan (there was actually one other fan with us and one of Leighanne's friends).  I'm sure he's shared the stories with others and I am not the only one.  If the stories ever come to light in the fandom then I will be more than happy to share them.

The whole conversation from start to end was probably about a good 45 minutes.  That was 45 minutes of personal heart to heart conversation, with his strikingly sparkly blue eyes looking me right in the eyes as he focused his attention on me as I was sharing with him some of my stories.  The fact that it was my birthday, was just icing on the cake.  I'm getting goose bumps now as I even just type this.  I have to believe that the conversation actually would have been longer but it was already 15 minutes after the party was supposed to end and they started to kick us out so that they could get out of the there before they were charged extra for going over their time.  I said goodbye to Brian, thanked him again, and gave him one last hug.  Before I left I had to say goodbye to Jodi and Leighanne as well.

Jodi and me

As I was saying goodbye to Leighanne, I thanked her as well for everything and for having the party because I had finally gotten to tell Brian my story of how I was influence to become a Christian because of him.  I wish that she had also been standing there when I had told my story.  She thanked me, wished me a happy birthday, and asked if I had gotten some cake (they had finger food, wine, and sweet tea the entire day....at one point when I was talking to Brian I had spilled my glass of ice all over right in front of him...only me).  I ensured her that I had and realized that I have a lot of photos with Brian and a lot of photos with Leighanne, but none with the both of them together.  So I asked for one more quick photograph as they were ushering us out...

Brian, me, and Leighanne

Once I got into my car, all I did was sit there for about 15 minutes and took a deep breath.  I couldn't believe what had just happened to me.  Even that 45 minutes would have made the 15 hour drive all worth it.  I probably could have sat in that car for hours just thinking about what had just happened...but I had a Kentucky football game to watch at my friend's house and I had already missed the first 30 minutes of it, except that once I got to the friend's house, he told me that he was recording it for me.  Kentucky lost, imagine that.  They may know basketball but they do not "know their way around the pigskin," as Brian had mentioned earlier that evening.

Once the game was done, I went back to my hotel room but there was NO way I was going to be able to sleep.  My computer at the time was broken or else I would have actually typed this whole thing up that night instead of now, one month later thanks to all the studying I have been doing for my Graduate Record Exams.  At about 3am, I started to not feel too great.  The next morning when I was supposed to drive back home, I was flat out sick.  There was going to be no way that I was going to be able to drive home.  So, I got the hotel for one more night and spent Sunday sick as a dog in Roswell, Georgia.  I was just thankful that whatever it was (I'm pretty sure it was because of my dinner from the night before) hadn't hit me the previous day.  I woke up Monday much better, although tired and weak and drove home in some pretty crappy weather, stopping once again in Lexington, this time to have a Hot Brown at Ramsey's.  

So, there you have it....what is the the best birthday I have EVER had and a birthday that pretty much started two days before my actual birthday.

You did reach out Your hand...

**Brian Littrell and Rebecca St. James - The Christmas Tour - 12/9/2006 - Evangelical Free Church - Naperville, IL**

After an amazing trip to Toronto in November 2006, I knew I wouldn't be able to stay away from Brian Littrell for long.  Not long after this Toronto concert, it was announced that Brian would be doing a Christmas Tour with Christian artist, Rebecca St. James.  Luckily, a show was announced in Naperville, IL...not terribly far from my hometown.  There were only 8 shows released for this Christmas Tour so I knew I had to take the chance and run with it.  The show was on a Saturday, which made it even better.

I immediately contacted Megan, Tammy, and Tara to see if they would be interested in going.  Megan did not get to go to Toronto with us and Tara had taken her place.  These three girls were now going to be my new go-to BSB girls.  When tickets went on sale, I had not heard back from Tammy nor Tara as to whether or not they wanted to go.  Megan was in.  I decided to take a chance and get four tickets.  Shortly afterwards, I discovered that Tara could not go and Tammy had a already gotten tickets to go with her best friend.  I hoped that I would have luck in finding someone to buy the two extra tickets before I went, but that turned out to be a negative.  They actually had a "Meet and Greet" option as part of the tickets but I decided not to purchase it.  After all, I had already met Brian...why bother?  These days I'm singing a different tune apparently.  I guess as a college student with more limited funds, you think more carefully about these things.

Hobart, IN -> Naperville, IL - 66.3 miles - 1 hour 24 minutes

Megan and I left early enough that night to find the venue and then go get a bite to eat.  It was chilly....it was December in Chicago, after all.  I remember that Megan thought I was crazy because I was just wearing a sweatshirt, hat, and gloves but no jacket.  I guess I was used to the Chicago cold after having grown up and lived in it for 23 years.  I also remember there being a lot of mattress stores...they were everywhere in Naperville.  Those people must love to sleep.

We stood in line to wait to get into the venue for awhile and talked to a mom and her daughter.  It got brought up that they still needed to purchase their tickets once they got in the venue.  Oh look what I have here....two extra tickets.  The problem?  Mom didn't have any cash.  She thought about running to an ATM and then she remembered that she had some cash that she had to give to her brother.  She could use that and the go to the ATM after the show to replace the cash.  The problem?  Not enough to pay full price for the tickets I had.  I was willing to take a small loss and gave her the tickets for what she had.  It was better than not finding anyone to buy them.

The concert was a mix of each artist singing some of their regular, non-Christmas songs, each singing some solo Christmas songs, and then them doing some Christmas songs together.  Brian eventually came out in a Santa jacket, which was adorable.  Unfortunately, the pictures are not so great.

There is one memory that I will NEVER EVER forget during this show.  It was a moment that changed my life and a moment that I still need to thank Brian for.  As I have written in my past posts, I had been exploring the idea of God more and more since buying Welcome Home, attending two of Brian's Welcome Home concerts, and hearing personal stories of how God played a part in Brian's life.  I just hadn't taken the last steps to become a full believer.  I was more open to the idea but was just waiting for that last extra push.  

At one point, Brian was offstage and it was Rebecca's turn on stage.  She started talking about forgiveness and how God forgives us all.  She started to read a passage from her Bible and invited anyone who had questions about God, those who felt they needed more in their lives, and those who wanted to know more about Jesus to step forward.  This is when something happened and to this day I still have a hard time explaining what I felt.  I felt the sudden urge to stand up myself and walk forward to the stage, a sense of peace and calm, a sense of belonging.  However, I did not do it because I was so scared.  I didn't know what was happening.  I was there with my friend Megan, but what would she think if I just got up and walked towards the stage?  I thought that Tammy would know what I was going through since she had recently found God that May with the influence of Brian but she was sitting several rows behind me.  I now know that moment was God finding His way into my heart and opening it to Him.  That was the moment I decided that I was going to be faithful to God and become a Christian.  I think the thing that scared me the most was that I was 23 years old and had not been raised with church or the Bible in my life.  Where was I going to start?  I didn't even know the basics.  I had so much catching up to do.  But, I knew it was what I had to do.  God was telling me at that moment that I was ready to accept Him and that He would guide me in my journey.  That wasn't the end of it though.

After the show, Tammy pulled me to the side because she said that she had to talk to me and that what she needed to say was out of the ordinary and that she didn't want to freak me out.  She told me that at that time during the show when Rebecca was giving her message, she felt the strongest urge to come to me because I needed her to help me go up to the stage to accept God.  I told her that I didn't think she was nuts because I had hoped that she would come up to me at that time to help me take that first step.  Not only had God found His way into my heart, but He had told Tammy how much I needed her support at that time.  I see why she probably did not approach me at that time.  She knew that I had been more open to Christianity but also knew that I wasn't quite there yet.  I am sure that she thought she would scare me off if she had done so.  However, I would have gladly accepted her company.  She then put her hands on my shoulder, looked me straight in the eye, and told me everything was okay.  She told me that Jesus was waiting for me as she hugged me.  I started to cry and so did she.  On May 2, 2006, God had used Brian Littrell to bring Tammy to faith.  On December 9, 2006, He used Brian again to show me the way.  He has a plan for us all and it is when you least expect it that He works His magic.

Now, some of you may be saying that it was actually Rebecca St. James that helped bring me to faith.  You are partially true.  It was her on that stage, reading from her Bible, and inviting the audience to come forward.  However, it was Brian's messages on his CD and during his previous concerts that allowed me to even think about accepting God in the first place.  I would not have been at that concert if I would not have been there to see Brian.  He is the one that brought me there in the first place.  Therefore, I always say that it is Brian that is the one who influenced my faith.  One day, I would love to tell him this story so that he can see the influence he had on me.

While it was December 9, 2006 that I decided that I was going to become a Christian, it took some time before I could technically call myself so.  I officially became a Christian on February 24, 2009 when I was baptized at the Charlestown Road Church of Christ in New Albany, IN.  Yes, it took some time but the important thing is that I did it and there is not a day goes by that I am not thankful for that day in Naperville.

Many people think that I am just a fan of the Backstreet Boys for their music, their looks, their personalities, or what have you.  Those who really know me know why I am a fan.  I am a fan because of moments like I had at this concert.  I am a fan because they made a difference in my life and because they made a difference in the lives of many.  

Anyway, back to the more light hearted stuff.   I was happy that I did not end up purchasing a Meet and Greet ticket.  Apparently, there was some miscommunication somewhere along the line and Brian was not actually at the Meet and Greet.  It did not matter.  This was another Brian Littrell show that I had a plan waiting for me.  At the first concert I went to in Grand Rapids I had met Tammy, who has become a great friend and who I can have so many fun times with.  She is the person that I have shared my journey to God with.  At the second show in Toronto, I actually got to meet Brian after so many years of him being an influence in my life.  Finally, the most important show was this one...for it brought me to God.

So Brian, if you ever happen to read this.....Thank You.

So why be alive if you don't follow your every dream...

**Brian Littrell - Welcome Home Tour - 11/4/2006 - Elmer S. McVety Centre - Toronto, ON, Canada**

*Part II - The Concert, Meet and Greet, and Road Trip Home*

After an interesting Road Trip to Toronto, we were ready for Brian's concert to start.  His set list was very similar to that of his Grand Rapids Concert, except there were some differences.  It was seeing these two shows that made me a firm believer that every show is different, even during the same tour.

Brian's opening act for this show was a young Canadian Insipirational artist by the name of Roshana.  I enjoyed her music and ended up purchasing her CD at the show.   

The playlist of this concert was similar to his Grand Rapids show but there was also one more song that was added.  It is a song that is not one of his own, but instead was made popular by country music artist Tim McGraw.  Brian sang "Don't Take The Girl," during this concert, which was shortly after his appearance on CMT's Studio 333 where he sang this song.  Just a little tid bit for you - the son of the man who wrote this song actually did the gardening for Brian at the first house he bought.  This is probably one of my favorite Tim McGraw songs so I was in heaven when Brian's amazing voice was the one singing it.  I was able to get part of it on video....but after watching it, I realized that I should NEVER sing along during concerts when I am taping.  So as you watch this, I apologize for the awful singing in the background, ruining Brian's heavenly voice.

"Don't Take The Girl"

The "Birthday Party"

At one point, Brian brought up a bunch of young girls.  It was one of the girl's birthdays and she was there with a bunch of friends.  There were a lot of them and I thought it was so sweet of him to do this.  I am not sure if the birthday girl was a fan of Brian's or not since she was so young.  My guess is that she would not have been there if she wasn't.  I can't even imagine what I would do if Brian were to ever bring me on stage, espcially during my birthday.

If you remember reading my Remembering 9/11 post, you will remember me talking about how it was during this concert that Brian shared the story of how Leighanne was supposed to be on one of the planes that crashed into the World Trade Center on 9/11/2001.  This was the first time I had ever heard this and my heart just sank.  I had been exploring my faith (or at least the start of it) a little more at this time and knew that it was God that kept her off of that plane on that Tuesday morning.  There is no other explanation for the feeling she had gotten to stay with her husband on that morning, instead of flying to the west coast.  It was an emotional story because that day was an emotional day and he was telling it before an emotional song.  Make sure to check out my Remembering 9/11 Post to check out the video of Brian talking about this and him singing "Gone Without Goodbye" afterwards.

Brian and Leighanne share an intimate moment

I also loved this concert because we got to experience an intimate moment between Leighanne and Brian when she came on stage and they shared in a nice simple kiss.  Every time I have ever seen them together, you can tell how completely in love they are with one another.  As a matter of fact, sometimes I wish my husband and I were more like them....as much as I love my relationship with my husband.  Brian and Leighanne are so much in love and you can see it just by looking at them and listening to the way that talk about one another.  Looking at them, you can see what love truly is and what it is supposed to be all about.  I cannot even imagine how life would have changed for Brian if Leighanne would have been on that plane on 9/11/2001.

The show itself was amazing, but what happened afterwards was even better in my eyes.  Tammy and I always wait until venues clear out a bit before we even attempt to leave the show.  We just never see the point of waiting in the crowds.  As we were waiting for the venue to clear out, we heard through the grape vine that Brian would be coming out for a Meet and Greet after he was done doing an interview.  I was so excited!  At this point, I had never met Brian...a dream if mine was going to come true.

Tara and I went to the table that Brian was going to be signing his autographs and were the first in line. Tammy was trying to figure out if she wanted to stay in front with us or if she wanted to go to the end of the line.  If she stayed first with us, she was guaranteed to meet Brian but probably wouldn't have the chance to actually talk to him about anything.  If she went to the end, she was not guaranteed that he would stay around that long but there might be a chance to actually talk to him.  She had met him before and he actually had influenced her to become a Christian.  She decided to go to the back of the line and take her chance there.

Brian and Leighanne visiting with the fans

Brian eventually came out and we were ready!  Leighanne was sitting with him as he was signing autographs and I thought it was awesome that she wanted to be a part of that.  She talked with the fans as well and was just so friendly to everyone.  I will be the first to admit that when Brian and Leighanne started dating, I was not very happy about it.  I was teenager and was jealous.  My friends and I would call her names and talk about how bad she was for Brian.  It was at this point that I realized that I did not know Leighanne at that time and had no right to talk about her like that, for she was being incredibly nice and friendly to everyone that approached that table.

We were informed that Brian would not be taking photos. I was upset by this because I wanted a photo with him.  I handed my camera to the person behind me so that they could take a photo of me meeting him.  As Brian was signing my item, I thanked him for his "inspirational voice and music."  When he thanked me for the compliment there was such a look of thanks and gratefulness in his eyes and smile.  You could tell that he was truly thankful for his fans and what he was doing to inspire others.  I then asked him for a hug and he gave one to me over the table.  I couldn't believe that I was actually in the arms of Brian Littrell, something that I had dreamed about for so long.  I could not wait to see the photos that the person had taken behind me.  Unfortunately, the person was too close and the photo did not turn out as I had hoped.

Getting ready for my hug

Anyone want to take a guess as to what I did next?  I walked away and cried.  I could not believe I had just met the man that was such an inspiration in my life...a man that I was absolutely in love with....a man that was teaching me about God and faith....a man that is just plain amazing.  I was overwhelmed. When I became a fan in 1998, a never in a million years thought I would get to meet Brian, let alone get to hug him.  I had made sure I had walked away so he would not see the emotions I was showing.  After settling down a bit, I returned to the table area, as we still had to wait for Tammy to get up to the table.  At that point, Roshana was out signing her CD's so I bought one and had it signed by her.  Leighanne had also left Brian's side at that point and was talking to fans off to the side.  Tara and I went over by her and also had her sign our items and then got a photo with her.

Tara, Leighanne, and I

My First Personal Brian and Leighanne autographs

Tammy eventually made it up to the table and had the ability to talk to Brian for several minutes.  She talked to him about the first time she met him and how he influenced her to become a Christian.  I was happy for her time with Brian, but I was also very jealous.  Brian had always been my favorite and I though I deserved that kind of time with him as well.  I know Brian had greatly influenced her but Kevin was her favorite.  I see now how it was stupid to feel this way but I did.  Maybe it is because I now have had conversations with him, although I still have not been able to tell him about how he influenced me to become a Christian, a conversation that I do want to have with him at some point.

Tammy's Brian hug

It was all such an amazing time and we went back to the hotel in high spirits.  I had problems sleeping because of what had just happened.  However, I knew we had a long drive back the next morning.

The trip back started out uneventful...at least compared to the Road Trip to Toronto.  We did want to stop for lunch and were specifically looking for a McDonald's because we knew that is one restaurant that we could actually find.  I mean there are McDonald's all over the place....except when you want one.  We could not find one to save our lives!  We did eventually find one, however.....after several hours of driving along the highway.

Remember how I said the trip back started out uneventful?  Well, that changed as we were coming back into the states.  As we passed through the passing point, we were informed that we were randomly selected to have our car searched.  Now, you have to remember that we had borrowed my brother's car.  He is a pretty good guy but I didn't know what he could have in that thing or if one of his frat brother's had something in there.  As the car was being searched we had to go inside a building and show our credentials.  Everything checked out and the car ended up coming up clear.  Whew.  I can now say that I have been checked out at the United States border.

As we were driving through Michigan, a Brian Littrell song came on the radio....so in the many, many hours of driving we were able to hear at least one Brian song since there was no CD player in the car.  We returned the car to the pizza place that my brother worked at and offered to pay for the light plug that had been damaged on our way to Toronto.  Larry's boss refused to charge and said he should have taken it out in the first place.  Larry gave us another free pizza and we exchanged vehicles.  We were on our way back to Muncie, crammed in my little Ford Ranger.  The rest of the trip was pretty uneventful.  We got back to Muncie pretty late and Tammy still have the long drive back to Nashville.

Overall, it was an amazing weekend and road trip with some great people!  Tara decided not to join my sorority after all.  I would see her around campus every now and then but never really talked to her much after the trip.  We are still Facebook friends and so I stay updated as to some of the things going on in her life.   Sometimes I wished we would have stayed in better contact but I have to remember that she decided to join this trip at the very last moment when I needed someone to replace Megan.  I think if I would have actually known her better beforehand and she would have joined our sorority's chapter, the friendship could have grown into much more.

Tammy and I have pretty much done all of my Backstreet trips after this one together.  It is pretty much the only time we get to see each other so we always have a great time anytime we do.  Who wouldn't have a great time when you are doing anything Backstreet Boys related.

When I look at you holding my heart, I will give to you all that I have...

**Brian Littrell - Welcome Home Tour - 6/18/2006 - The Intersection - Grand Rapids, MI**

There is no doubt that Brian has ALWAYS been my favorite Backstreet Boy.  However, when I heard that he was coming out with a solo Christian album, I had to think hard about whether I was going to buy it.  Immediately, I thought "of course I am going to buy it because I love Brian's voice and it is an album of just Brian."  The other part of me thought, "I was not raised with any kind of religion in my life so am I going to like or understand the content of this album and will that affect my feelings about Brian?"  I was in a dilemma.  I eventually decided that I was going to support him no matter what.

So on May 2, 2006, I drove to the local Family Christian Store in Muncie, IN because I thought that would be the best place to find it.  I looked at every single CD in that store and could not find Welcome Home anywhere.  I knew that if I couldn't even find it at a Christian store, there was no way it was going to be anywhere else.  I thought I would take a chance and ask the employee working there about the album.  I explained to him that Brian Littrell's album was supposed to be coming out on that day and asked if they had it in stock.  He went into the back and came out with a handful of the CDs.  They had forgotten to put them out!

As I always do when I buy a new CD, I opened it up immediately and stuck it in the CD player of my truck.  Unfortunately, it took less than one song to drive back to my apartment because I lived so close.   I transferred the CD straight from my truck CD player to my computer and continued to listen to the album the entire day.  I was in love with it.  At the time, I couldn't relate to what Brian was singing about but I loved just hearing his voice.  It was the thing that made me fall in love with him in the first place, after all.  Actually, there was one song that I related to and that was "Angels and Heroes."  I was (and still am) a member of a philanthropic sorority called Epsilon Sigma Alpha (ESA).  This group was made up of so many types of people who came together for one common goal:  to help others.  To me, "Angels and Heroes," represented our group perfectly.  I thought that every single one of my sisters was an angel or hero to someone that they helped while we were doing our service work.  In fact, some of them were heroes to me in great times of need.  We didn't have wings but we were all angels and heroes at heart.  To this day, this is still my favorite song of all time.

As I continued to listen to the CD, I started to ask questions about God and Christianity.  I was baptized Catholic as an infant but that was the extent of religion in my life other than a few Christmas Eve midnight masses here and there.  Because I was not taught any of this, I never had an interest in learning about it.  In fact, it scared me.  However, I could sense something in Brian's singing that I never had in my life.  It was a sense of peace, belonging, and happiness.  I knew it was because of his faith, but I was still not quite ready to take that step.

Megan and I at her house before leaving for Grand Rapids

Later in the month of May, news was released that Brian would be doing a small tour and I was lucky enough that there was a date (June 18, 2006 - The Intersection - Grand Rapids, MI) that worked into my schedule.  It helped that I was just taking summer classes at Ball State University.  I called the first person I thought of to go with me...Megan.  We had enjoyed ourselves so much for the Never Gone concert and she was really my only BSB friend at the time.  Even though she was an AJ fan, she agreed to go with me.

Muncie, IN -> Anderson, IN -> Grand Rapids, MI
274 miles - 4 hours, 49 minutes

I once again drove to Anderson to pick her up, but this time I was going to drive.  After our near death experience going to Cincinnati for our Never Gone concert, I thought it might be best if I drove this time.  This concert was going to be general admission so we wanted to be sure to get there early enough to get a good seat.  Little did we know that there would be no seats.  Anyway, we were following the directions to get to the venue, The Intersection.  The directions, which I had either gotten from Map Quest or Google Maps said we should have arrived at our destination, but we were still on the high way.  We did see the venue from the interstate, but there was no way that we were at our destination!  We were going to have to do this the old fashioned way, as we did not have a GPS.  We were either going to have to figure it out for ourselves or stop and ask for directions.  Luckily, I like to think I have an okay sense of direction and we got off of the next exit....into what looked like to be a very bad neighborhood.  This was not the time to be lost.  I continued to drive and we ended up finding the venue without having to stop for directions.  As we drove by the venue, we noticed that the line was not super long and we were pretty hungry.  We needed to go get something to eat but did not want to get off of the current road we were on, for fear of not being able to find our way back.  We found a Taco Bell down the road, ate, and returned to the venue.

The line had grown since we had gone to eat but it wasn't too bad.  We waited in line for awhile and then were let into the lounge of the venue to wait in line.  At some point in the transition from outside to inside, I lost one of my brand new earrings.  We were finally let into the show and that is when we realized that there weren't any seats.  This was a dance club/seat less concert venue.  The main floor was completely open but there was some seating around the perimeter.  Megan has some health issues and informed me that she would rather sit in one of the seats around the perimeter than stand for the show.  I told her I would sit with her, rather than stand in the group for the concert.

We, of course, had to wait for the show to start.  As we were sitting, a woman came up to me and said, "I know this seems really strange but do you have any batteries?"  Her's had died in her camera.  Those who know me, know that I like to be prepared for anything.  I reached into my purse, pulled out some batteries, and handed them to her.  She introduced herself as Tammy and we chatted for a bit.  We then exchanged e-mail addresses and agreed to write to one another.  And yes, this is the same Tammy that I do almost all of my BSB/UK stuff with now.  We still love to reminisce about how it was Brian that made us meet and become such good friends.

Opening Acts

Brian had two opening acts, Brandon Heath and Ana Laura, who were label mates of his.  Both were good.  Then Brian finally came on.  Even though I was towards the back of the club, this was the closest I had ever been to him.  I was so excited.  I knew I wasn't going to be able to just sit there during the show, so I left Megan sitting where she was (with her permission of course) and got closer to the action.  The man of my dreams was less than 20 feet from me!  I never thought that I would ever be this close to him when I became a fan those many years ago.  Little did I know that I would be much closer to him in the future.

Because it was so long ago, I don't remember the exact setlist unfortunately.  A search on Google pulled this up:

My Answer Is You
Wish
In Christ Alone
You Keep Givin' Me
IWITW/ALAYLM
Angels & Heroes
We Lift You Up
I'm Alive
Gone Without Goodbye
Grace of My Life
Welcome Home
That's What She Said
Over My Head

Brian being.....well Brian.

This looks correct to me and I remember certain things about certain songs.  It may not be the exact same order but I am pretty sure these are the songs he sang.  Overall, Brian continued the same crazy antics that he does during BSB shows.  He would take people's cell phone and talk on the phone with them.  He would make his same silly faces and voices.  It was great being able to just see him and not have any of the other Backstreet Boys gets in the way (no offense).  I also liked how personal it was.  It wasn't a big production.  He would play his guitar and sing.  There were no wardrobe changes or fancy pyro or light shows.  It was just Brian doing what he does best...singing.

For "You Keep Giving Me," Brian brought a church choir out to help him sing.  Brian joked all night about "bringing church to the club," but it was especially true during this song.  I couldn't find the whole song but I was able to find a clip.

Courtesy of Mei922 - YouTube

And even though this was a Brian Littrell concert, he still sang some BSB classics, "I Want It That Way" and "As Long As You Love Me."  After he was done singing "ALAYLM" he decided to show us that some old habits die hard when he decided to do the chair dance.  He also talked about how it was on the video shoot of this song that he met Leighanne.  

Courtesy of ACsShorty - YouTube

I was able to get my own video of Brian singing my favorite part of "Angels and Heroes."  My camera at the time was not the best and I could not get long portions of video so I wanted to save my camera memory for this part. 

"Angels and Heroes"

"Welcome Home (You)"

Finally, during "Welcome Home (You)," Brian premiered the music video for it in the background.  I instantly loved it and hoped that it would be available on iTunes so that I could download it and be able to watch it all the time.  Luckily for me, it was.  I also liked this because I got twice as much Brian Littrell.  I was able to watch him on the stage and on the video screen.  I could not complain about that.

I ended up buying some merchandise at this show.  First, I purchased a t-shirt.  The logo of the t-shirt was very faded to begin with but the shirt was SO soft.  It was perfect to sleep in.  It has lost some of its softness over the years but I still love it.  The second thing I bought, I debated on.  He had signed CDs there.  The only reason I debated on this was because I already had the CD.  What was I going to do with another copy?  However, I did not have his autograph.  I decided that since I already had multiple of several of their other CD's, why not Brian's as well?  I bought it and I now had Brian's autograph to display proudly.

Grand Rapids Merchandise

We travelled back to Muncie that night.  I loved every second of that show and I believe it allowed me to open my heart up just a little bit to God.  I still wasn't ready to make that leap of faith but I could tell that if I continued to use Brian as an influence, I might eventually get there.